Meditation for Spy Wednesday: “Not I, Rabbi?”

Fr. Scott Haynes

A Meditation on Matthew 26:14–25

Through Scripture, Tradition, and the Art of Caravaggio

“And Judas that betrayed him answering, said: Is it I, Rabbi? He saith to him: Thou hast said it.”— Matthew 26:25, Douay-Rheims

I. The Hour of Betrayal

On Spy Wednesday, the shadows lengthen across the upper room. Christ, the Lamb unblemished, is seated among His chosen. But beneath the warmth of the Passover feast lies the chilling prophecy: “Amen I say to you, one of you is about to betray me” (Matt. 26:21).

This is not merely a sorrowful memory of the past. The Gospel is a mirror, held up not just to Judas, but to each of us. And Judas’s haunting words—“Is it I, Rabbi?”—echo through time with a terrible irony. His lips, stained with deceit, ask the very question that should pierce the conscience of every Christian.

Saint Augustine reflects, “He who eats My bread lifted his heel against Me; he who shares My table is My enemy” (Commentary on John, Tractate 62). We are invited to ponder: Is it I, Lord? Have I too betrayed You in the Eucharist by receiving You unworthily? Have I, like Judas, cloaked treachery in the garments of friendship?

II. Judas: The Mask of a Disciple

St. Leo the Great wrote, “He who was outwardly numbered among the twelve was inwardly estranged from the truth.” (Sermon 58). Judas had walked, spoken, eaten, and slept beside the Incarnate Word. Yet proximity to Christ does not guarantee love. There is a Judas in every age—outwardly pious, inwardly cold.

In the Douay-Rheims, the apostle addresses Christ as Rabbi—Teacher, not Lord. Contrast this with the other apostles’ response: “Is it I, Lord?” The subtle difference is revealing. Judas will no longer call Him Master and God. He has reduced Christ to a title of mere instruction, not of devotion.

Saint John Chrysostom notes, “He calls Him Master, but betrays the Master; gives Him a kiss, but sells Him.” Judas’s words reveal a heart already broken by pride and greed.

III. Caravaggio’s The Taking of Christ (1602): Shadows and Light

As this Gospel passage wounds the soul, Caravaggio’s painting wounds the eye. His Taking of Christ captures not just the moment of betrayal, but the eternal drama between grace and sin.

At the center, Judas clutches Christ in a kiss—his arm encircles Jesus as if in friendship, but the face is driven by desperation, confusion, and guilt. Christ does not resist. His hands are folded, His eyes cast downward—not in fear, but in sorrow and submission to the Father’s will.

Behind them, the soldiers press forward, their armor catching the light like a flash of impending doom. A single lantern—held by a figure believed to be Caravaggio himself—illuminates the scene. It is this borrowed light that reveals the horror of sin: that even when grace stands among us, man may choose darkness.

The face of Christ, serene yet sorrowful, becomes the heart of the painting. Here Caravaggio speaks the language of St. Ambrose: “The Lord was betrayed with a kiss. How great the hypocrisy of the traitor! How deep the mercy of Christ!”

In the chiaroscuro technique—Caravaggio’s mastery of dark and light—we see the inner drama of the Gospel: the collision of Divine Mercy and human treachery.

IV. “Thou Hast Said It”: The Judgment of Love

Christ does not accuse Judas harshly. He simply says, “Thou hast said it”. It is a statement both of sorrow and of truth. No thunder from heaven. No divine curse. Only the quiet resignation of Love betrayed.

Saint Thomas Aquinas writes, “Our Lord was silent not out of ignorance, but to give Judas space for repentance” (Catena Aurea, Matthew 26). Even at the edge of the abyss, Judas was offered mercy.

And what of us? Do we seize that mercy, or like Judas, do we flee into the night?

V. The Garden of the Heart

This Gospel scene is not locked in the upper room. It plays out in the garden of our hearts. Every time we approach the altar, every time we say "Amen" to the Body of Christ, we must ask: Am I coming as friend—or as betrayer?

Let us examine our hearts this Holy Week:

• Have I sold Christ for silver—choosing sin for the sake of gain?

• Have I greeted Him with the kiss of empty ritual—saying prayers, attending Mass, but withholding love?

• Have I called Him only “Rabbi,” when He desires to be “Lord”?

Spy Wednesday is not just about Judas. It is about us, and about the limitless love of Jesus Christ who endures betrayal to win our redemption.

VI. A Prayer to Conclude

O merciful Jesus, betrayed by one You called friend, have mercy on me when I have betrayed You by sin. You received a kiss from Judas—yet spoke no word of anger. Speak instead Your word of healing to my soul. May I never approach You in the Eucharist with a heart divided. Let me never call You merely “Rabbi” but always “Lord and God.” And in the shadow of the Cross, teach me to love You more than I fear my own sin. Amen.